The most difficult New Year

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Most people spend New Year's Eve with friends, or at parties, celebrating the end of the old year and eagerly awaiting the new one. The excitement of new beginnings has always made New Year's Eve and New Year's Day one of my favorite times.

For me, there wasn't anything to celebrate. My beloved kitty, Lil' Miss, got very sick on December 29th, and by New Year's Eve two vet visits later, she was in the veterinarian ER hospital. New Year's Day we got the bleak, awful news that she wasn't likely going to make it. Her kidney values were off the chart high. It had all happened so quickly, and before I knew it, I was rocking her in my arms as we put her to sleep. I'm still in shock.

I've lost my two sister's-in-law within the past four years. But this particular loss affects my *daily* life the most, because I directly feel the absence in my own home. Miss was my little buddy. My writing assistant. My "soul kitty" who just loved to cuddle and talk, and could always be found on my desk, at my side, and at my feet. She was always near me, twenty-four hours a day. She had a lot of chronic health issues, so I spent a lot of time caring for her during her almost eleven years on this earth.

A few weeks before this, my oldest kitty had a minor health issue that cropped up and that was stressful, but nothing like this. It's been an incredibly challenging December, and a really crappy start to the new year. 

I hope everyone can give me a little bit of leeway since I missed releasing this December. I've only started back to my editing today, and Lucky Number is going to my wonderful editor in chunks of ten chapters at a time. I still aim to have it out hopefully by the end of this month, as long as I don't get too stalled by grief. 

Time moves on, and life doesn't stop, but a very near, dear piece of my heart feels like it's missing as I sit at my desk and there's no happy, chubby, calico fuzzball at my feet. Or on my desk. 

I'll really miss her.